Subscriber Gifts

As a thank you for subscribing, you have access to all of my essays, novels, and short story collections in .epub format (all that I have distribution rights to, at least.).

That means you can read all this great stuff away from your computer, the way Mr. eReader device intended.

However, if you want to buy direct from Amazon instead of subscribing to a paid Substack tier, you are more than free to do so.

Here are all the books and essays you’ll get instant access to when you subscribe to any of my paid Substack options.

Downloadable Books and Essays that come with a paid Substack subscription.

You will also get access to several additional humor essays including:

• Tiny People in Your Semen: The Discovery of Sperm

• It Takes a Man to Get a Vasectomy

• A Man Minus a Necktie: A Very Brief History of Ties and a Longer History of Why I Hate Them